Recommended Resources & tips for the newly bereaved

Books:

Pregnancy and Infant Loss

Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death by Sherokee Ilse

A Silent Sorrow Pregnancy Loss: Guidance and Support for you and Your Family by Ingrid Kohn, MSW & Perry-Lynn Mofffitt

Empty Crade, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby by Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D.

For Men

A Guide for Fathers when a baby dies by Tim Nelson

Fathers Feel too: a book for men by men on coping with the death of a baby by Andrew Don

Strong and Tender: A guide for the father whose baby has died by Pat Schwiebert, RN

For Couples

Couple Communication after a Baby Dies: Differing Perspectives by Sherokee Ilse & Tim Nelson

For Siblings

No New Baby by Marilyn Gryte

*Please visit our lending library at our office in New Haven to find more books on different topics, or email our program manager (info@hopeafterloss.org) for more resources on specific topics.

Tips for returning to work:

Return to work for half the day at first if you are able to. We have also found that returning to work the day before you are scheduled to work helps to break that initial anxiety of “seeing” your co-workers for the first time. Just going in to your office, classroom, etc. will help with the anxiety of working the following day.

Come up with a “one liner” that you can repeat without having to get into detail with co-workers. Some examples that Hope After Loss members have used are:

  • I had a baby who died and I am very sad right now, but am glad to be back at work. What have I missed around here?
  • Thank you for your thoughts, cards, etc. Being here isn’t very easy yet, but I am looking forward to a routine again. Have I missed anything exciting around here?

Any “elevator pitch” that you can come up with to answer generic questions while then passing the question back to your co-workers will help a lot.

 

Helpful websites:

AMEND/ www.amend-fla.org
Located in Tampa Florida, this site offers a free counseling service to parents who have experienced the loss of an infant through miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death. They also have a 24/7 phone line.

American SIDS Institute/ www.sids.org
A national nonprofit health care organization, that is dedicated to the prevention of sudden infant death and the promotion of infant health through an aggressive, comprehensive nationwide programs.

The AngelPics Project/ www.babyangelpics.com
Project has been created to donate photo retouching resources to the parents and families of a stillborn baby. Photographs of stillborns and newborns who don’t make it home from the hospital are usually very difficult to look at, and are usually the only image that the parents have of their child. Through this free service, our skilled digital artists work with a digital copy of your original, eliminating medical equipment, removing marks and bruising, even replacing the background if desired.

*Bereaved Parents of the USA/ www.bereavedparentsusa.org
(BP/USA) is a national non-profit self-help group that offers support, understanding, compassion and hope especially to the newly bereaved, be they bereaved parents grandparents or siblings struggling to rebuild their lives after the death of their children, grandchildren or siblings.

Carly Marie, Project Heal/ www.Carlymarieprojectheal.com
The woman who runs this site creates beautiful artwork, provides resources, and has really created a community for bereaved people.

CLIMB- center for loss in multiple birth/ www.climb-support.org
A non-profit organization based in Anchorage, Alaska, serving families and others throughout the United States, Canada and beyond. Their mission is, and always has been, to provide parent-to-parent support for all who have experienced the death of one or more of twins or higher multiple birth children at any time from conception through birth, infancy and early childhood.

*The Compassionate Friends/ www.compassionatefriends.org  
The Compassionate Friends provides highly personal comfort, hope, and support to every family experiencing the death of a child at any age; son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, or a grandchild, and helps others better assist the grieving family.

The COPE Foundation: Connecting Our Paths Eternally/ www.copefoundation.org
A non-profit grief and healing organization dedicated to helping parents and families living with the loss of a child. In addition to assisting local families on Long Island, the COPEline (grief hotline) and COPE website provided grieving individuals outside of Long Island with immediate support and resources and referrals.

Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope/ www.facesofloss.com
Faces of Hope brings awareness to the issue of pregnancy/infant loss

*First Candle/ www.firstcandle.org
First Candle is a leading national nonprofit organization dedicated to safe pregnancies and the survival of babies through the first years of life. Current priorities are to eliminate Stillbirth, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and other Sudden Unexpected Infant Deaths (SUID) with programs of research, education and advocacy. They also provide compassionate grief support to all those affected by the death of a baby through a dedicated crisis hotline at 800.221.7437

Glow in the Woods/ www.glowinthewoods.com
An online support and blog for parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds.

Grieve Out Loud/ www.grieveoutloud.org
Grieve Out Loud was started in January 2010 by a group of parents who understand the pain of losing a baby and are passionate about helping others in their own grieving process. An online community and an opportunity to find a “pen-pal.”

Grieving Dads Project/ www.grievingdads.com
This project is designed to reach out to all bereaved dads and to provide a conduit to share their stories. The goals are to bring awareness to the impacts that child loss has on fathers and to let society know that it’s okay for a father to grieve the loss of a child. A father shouldn’t have to hide his pain or feel ashamed to show his emotions.

HAND of the Peninsula: Helping After Neonatal Death/ www.handsupport.org
HAND has supported families in the San Francisco Bay Area for over 30 years. It a volunteer group of parents who have experienced the loss of a baby before, during or after birth. Their experience has established a desire to offer support to parents, their relatives and friends during the normal mourning following miscarriage, interruption of a wanted pregnancy, stillbirth or newborn death of their babies. HAND volunteers are not professional psychotherapists, however they may make referrals to professional counselors.

Heartstrings Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support/ www.heartstringssupport.org
Out of Greensboro North Carolina, but will mail information to you. Heartstrings provides compassionate validation, bereavement education and hope to families who have suffered pregnancy and infant loss through distinctive peer-based support programs guided by bereaved parents in partnership with professional facilitators.

International Stillbirth Alliance/ www.stillbirthalliance.org
The International Stillbirth Alliance (ISA), is a non-profit coalition of organizations dedicated to understanding the causes and prevention of stillbirth.

*Lily’s Amazing Grace/ www.lilysamazinggrace.com
This site is a must read! -full of beautiful stories and very helpful resources. The site was created by a mother who lost her daughter Lily, and was then inspired to become a NICU nurse. She has also created this site to help families going through a loss. A truly inspiring woman right here in CT.

*The Macie Grace Foundation/ www.maciegracefoundation.org
Bill and Wendy McCloskey communicate with parents who anticipate the birth of a critically ill baby or those who have a critically ill infant in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). They run a support group out of Hartford, CT.

*March of Dimes/ www.marchofdimes.com
Helps moms take charge of their health, and supports families when something goes wrong. The March of Dimes also acts globally: sharing best practices in perinatal health and helping improve birth outcomes where the needs are the most urgent.

MEND: Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death/ www.mend.org
M.E.N.D. (Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death) is a Christian, non-profit organization that reaches out to families who have suffered the loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death.

MISS Foundation/ www.missfoundation.org
An organization providing C.A.R.E. [counseling, advocacy, research, and education] services to families experiencing the death of a child.

Missing GRACE Foundation/ www.missinggrace.org
Provides support, education and resources for families experiencing: pregnancy loss, infant loss, infertility, and adoption challenges.

PILARI: Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness & Research Institute/ www.pilari.org
This is a place of information, support and healing for everyone affected by pregnancy and infant loss. A place you can feel free to submit any question to receive a quick, helpful reply.

Pregnancy After Loss Support/ www.pregnancyafterlosssupport.com
Pregnancy After Loss Support is a community support resource for women experiencing the confusing and conflicting emotions of grief mixed with joy during the journey through pregnancy after loss. They seek to help expectant mamas celebrate their current pregnancy by choosing hope over fear while still nurturing and honoring the grief over the loss of their deceased child.

Pregnancy Loss Support Program of the National Council of Jewish Women- New York/ www.ncjwny.org
Professionally trained PLSP volunteers offer nationwide telephone counseling and New York metropolitan area support groups for parents who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or newborn death, as well as to women who are pregnant following a loss. PLSP services are free of charge, open to the community, and non-sectarian. The program is guided by a licensed social worker with extensive expertise in pregnancy loss.

Remembering Our Babies/ www.october15.com
Online support site and keepsake store

Return to Zero/ www.returntozerothemovie.com
This is a movie about stillbirth and a site with resources, retreat info, and statistics.

Share/ www.nationalshare.org
Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support is a community for anyone who experiences the tragic death of a baby. They often serve parents, grandparents, siblings, and others in the family unit, as well as the professionals who care for grieving families.

The Star Legacy Foundation/ www.starlegacyfoundation.org
A non-profit organization dedicated to stillbirth research and education.

Still Standing Magazine/ www.stillstandingmag.com
This online magazine empowers bereaved people to embrace life after loss. It is a remarkable site- not one to skip over!

*Locally run organizations or organizations with local chapters.

 

Blogs:

Angels and Rainbows: Life and Love after Miscarriage/ www.angelsandrainbows.wordpress.com

A mommy’s creative binge/ www.amommyscreativebinge.com

Baby Steps and Tears/ www.babystepsandtears.com

Expecting the Unexpected/ www.expectingtheunexpectedblog.wordpress.com
A Connecticut midwife speaks about the loss of her daughter

Honoring Our Angels/ www.honoringourangels.blogspot.com
Honoring Our Angels serves as a resource for all those that have lost a child- started by a mom and run by a mom- online information

Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Blog Directory/ www.babylossdirectory.blogspot.com
This blog is maintained by volunteers to act like a “telephone book” for blogs dealing with the loss of a baby. It is open to anyone who has ever lost a baby in any way.

 

Remembrance Jewelry, Keepsakes, and Artwork

Angel Wings Memorial Boutique
Calder’s Cards
Healing Hearts: Baby Loss Comfort
I Am a Mother to an Angel
La Belle Dame
A Loss Remembered
Metal Stamped Memories
Molly Bears
My Forever Child
A Place to Remember
Remembering Our Babies Memorial Keepsake Boutique
Sue-Ella Signatures
To Write Their Names in the Sand